When You’re Scared You Might Need The Right Touch

I’m loving my sex therapy training at the University of Michigan. That formal training is coming to an end in April. ? I know that this experience is going to leave me inspired to learn more. My punch list of deeper dive topics include body image, kink, STIs and general medical treatments, and of course trauma.

Trauma, it’s effects, and recovery from them is my current deep dive. The seminal work of Bessel Van Der Kolk is playing on my iPhone now during my breaks, my commute, and during puppy training ?. The Body Keeps the Score is as fine a clinical volume as I’ve ever heard.

Dr. Van Der Kolk is reminding me just how important it is to incorporate the body into trauma recovery work. Movement, touch, mindfulness can all help the mind and body mend their connection and that connection is vital to real sexual health.

I wrote this particular note thinking of my own insomnia. I’ve had it for years and have tried any number of remedies. It’s only been in the last few years that I’ve learned that often my insomnia is driven by a fundamental anxiety that responds much better to touch than to talking or reading or rewatching episodes of Chuck.

Safe, soothing touch is one of the very first co-regulation strategies we should have been given. Sometimes we didn’t get it, didn’t get enough of it, or didn’t get it right. If that sounds like your experience it’s not too late to get it right. Touch can become safe again. If you need help with that there’s your work.