
On Chronic Pain
I’ve lived along side chronic pain suffers for about 20 years. I’ve had it myself. Chronic pain is a matter of time not sensation. The

Longevity Alone Is A Terrible Measure of Happiness
I can’t decide if this is more about relationships or sexual experiences so take your pick. Relationship satisfaction is an underrated measure of what makes

To Do List Junkies, Do We Get To Just Be?
Full disclosure, I’m in recovery from depression and anxiety disorders. It’s been a number of good years in recovery. There are days when that recovery

Be Someone You Can Trust
We talk about trust in our relationships all the time and for good reason. Trust is a fundamental component of rock star relationships. When it’s

Responsibility Allergies Can Be Treated (just not with shots)
After a year or so of writing #therapynotes, people mention this one to me more than any other. Some people are allergic to responsibility. So

Turn That Fight Into A Problem For Two Or More To Solve
John Gottman often says, “You pick your partner and you pick your problems.” Esther Perel says, “When you pick your partner you pick your story.”

Expectations Are The Arch-Enemy Of A Good Time
I have mixed feelings about this #therapynote. My feelings about expectations depend on the context. Context matters. Context matters in all things most especially in

Paranoid People Can Be Right But Can We Be Happy?
Are you motivated most by avoidance or desire? Avoidant leaning folks like me tend to be able to see the worst case scenario easily in

First, Figure Out If You Are The Problem
Seriously, you might be. Some of us who tend to want to escape responsibility need to hear that. On the other hand there are some

When You’re Scared You Might Need The Right Touch
I’m loving my sex therapy training at the University of Michigan. That formal training is coming to an end in April. ? I know that